The Reluctant Missionary :Changing and Challenging the Heart

This journey as a missionary has been heart breaking in ways I truly never anticipated.  I have done ministry in Mexico and seen poverty up close and personal and did everything I could to help...and then went back to my life and eventually forgot about the heart rending lack that some people live with everyday for their whole lives.  Living here in Ghana with the people has changed me from the inside out. I have experienced daily life here, I have tasted it, heard it, smelled it and lived it.

It is no longer enough just to see it and feel sorry for their lot in life.  It has become my life to change  it for even just a little bit for as many as I can.  I may never know just what the bouncy ball I give to a child when we stop to buy a drink at the provision store on the side of the road really means, but the longer I'm here the more I want to try.

The other day I was sitting and talking with a 14 year old young man who lives across the dirt road from us.  We have been trying to help this amazing boy with some of the challenges he and his single mom face.  He was talking about getting up in the dark to go outside and bathe (think bucket of water in a metal or wood stall with dirt floor and sky above).  We provided a flash light for safety as the snakes and scorpions here are deadly.  I just thought to ask him if he had a towel to use when he bathes, in the United States this question would never even be asked...of course he has a towel...but here in Ghana even what we consider basics are a luxury. So the answer was no, but God had me pack the vehicle we sent with extra towels so I headed in to the house to grab one for him.  As I fought back my tears as he exclaimed his joy at having a whole towel to use, I asked about a toothbrush...he said his was broken but he still used it.  Of course I made sure he left with a toothbrush and toothpaste, I will be bringing more back with me from the US.

How often have I taken for granted that everything I need is always available? How many times did I feel justified in wanting more or something new just because I wanted it?  How many times did I get something I wanted and then just moved on to the next want?  How much have I wasted, thrown away or just neglected? 

I can show Christ's love for them in small and seemingly unimportant ways.  I can let the kids come in our compound and watch as they color pictures just to show them to me and hear me say how good they did.  I can go out in the heat just to give them fist bumps and hugs as they play outside our compound.   I can show them someone cares, someone loves them.  Give of my time and not just my money.  Feed a child whose family has no food to feed them and give them a sachet of clean water to drink.  Yes, I may have to go without that thing my heart wants, but their hearts and stomachs will be full and they will thank Jesus as they lay down on the ground to sleep.  

I started this journey reluctantly, and struggle most days with my selfishness but I know my Redeemer lives and He has sent us there to share his love, how could I say no...